It's Friday at last...

... and let's renew our energies!

Ok, energy is all around us, it permeates all things and is our life source. It is as important as any other single body system because involves all of them (despite not being able to measure energy). Our energy levels are often affected by the busy lives that we lead. We sometimes feel tired or exhausted and can’t quite put our fingers on the reasons why...

... or we sometimes don’t have the motivation to make the changes that we desperately want: be that in our relationships, losing weight, going to the gym, changing our jobs, following our passions, or simply giving ourselves permission to stop, relax and feel rejuvenated again.

In life, we are presented with many different challenges and some of them are fun, exciting and make us feel alive! We wake in the morning with an excitement (not always.. I know... I know) and curiosity at the what the day will potentially bring us. Other challenges may feel like cumbersome obstacles in our lives, where decision making can be a somewhat difficult process! This can, in turn, stop us from embracing situations fully, making us feel sluggish and can keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns which don’t allow us to move forward.

Now, it may be how we approach these challenges that makes all the difference... How do you view your current challenges?

Why not trying new ways of breathing? Yes that's right! Some people are much more concerned with the next door neighbour who has bought a brand new car (given that he has been unemployed for 6 months) that they forget to live their own lives... they forget even how to breath (good job it is done for us!).

Breathe deeply.. yes that's right... many people usually breathe shallow breaths, from their chests and are actually somewhat oxygen deprived. So here you go: breathing using your diaphragm and abdominal muscles promotes relaxation and reduces tension.

Drink water... lot of it! Our bodies are nearly 80%  water... our bodies need it to work optimally. If we become ill somehow, water is a vital part of our recovery as well as remove unwanted and unnecessary materials by excreting them along with the water.

Develop and welcome new friendships (yes I know, we can't get on with everyone). At any moment in time, each and every one of us has the opportunity to bond with others as friends. We all need these emotional connection. It requires a give-and-take of trust to make relationships work, but it is well worth the effort. But hey! You might want to ask me "And IF that doesn't or isn't working?" Well, consider the costs and rewards of it? What are you getting out of it? Is it worth? Think about it..

Today is yesterday's tomorrow and today is tomorrow's yesterday.. think positively in the present tense and feel its effects... allow the power of your own positive thoughts spreading... helping to balance and heal you mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. This balance empowers you, making you able to achieve your dreams and keeping us healthy too. Stay in the now, as the past is over and, although it is good to have dreams, fear about the future are futile. 

Like the past, it can't be undone... but what you CAN do is to forgive yourself and others, by trying to make the right choice and making a little effort to move on in life. Sometimes what seems to be good, is bad and what seems to be bad, is good... it all depends on our perception. I once told the tale to one of my clients:

Once upon a time a farmer sent his son with a horse to graze upon the mountainside... He fell asleep and when he woke the horse was gone. He came back without it and the neighbours said "Oh what bad luck" the farmer then said "Maybe"
 
The very next day the farmer sent his son back to the mountain to seek his runaway... He found the horse and seven other wild ones and took them all home and the neighbours said "Oh what good luck" and the farmer said "Maybe"
 
The very next day the farmer sent his son to the wild horses that needed to be tamed... The first one he climbed on threw him down on the ground and as a result he broke his arm and the neighbours said "Oh what bad luck" then the farmer said"Maybe"

The very next day war was declared and the army men came through the countryside looking for soldiers but they couldn't take anyone... with a broken arm! The neighbours then said "Oh what good luck" and the farmer said "Maybe"

Life is what you make of it! The power to succeed or fail is yours alone and you alone have the responsibility to shape your life and make decisions. Nothing and no one can deny you greatness once you understand this.

Finally, I would like you to consider your free will and no one can cheat you out of ultimate success but you. More powerful then all the success slogans ever written is the realization that everyone has but one boss. That boss is you.

Above all: let's thank God, keep an open mind and feel grateful for our lives: it is the most precious asset you can have at any time!

I wish all my readers and followers a good Friday and would also like to invite you to consider what I have suggested so far.

Till next time...

Anxiety: exams... exams.... exams...

Generally, we all experience some level of nervousness or tension before tests or other important events in our lives. A little nervousness can actually help motivate us; however, too much of it can become a problem – especially if it interferes with our ability to prepare for and perform on tests.

Dealing with Anxiety

The first step is to distinguish between two types of anxiety. If your anxiety is a direct result of lack of preparation, consider it a normal, rational reaction. However, if you are adequately prepared but still panic, “blank out”, and/or overreact, your reaction is not rational. While both of these anxieties may be considered normal (anyone can have them) it is certainly helpful to know how to overcome their effects.

Preparation Can Help

Preparation is the best way to minimize rationale anxiety. Consider the following:

• Avoid “cramming” for a test. Trying to master a semester’s worth of material the day before the test is a poor way to learn and can easily produce anxiety. This is not the time to try to learn a great deal of material.
• Combine all the information you have been presented throughout the semester and work on mastering the main concepts of the course.
• When studying for the test, ask yourself what questions may be asked and try to answer them by integrating ideas from lectures, notes, texts, and supplementary readings.
• If you are unable to cover all the material given throughout the semester, select important portions that you can cover well. Set a goal of presenting your knowledge of this information on the test.

Changing Your Attitude

Improving your perspective of the test-taking experience can actually help you enjoy studying and may improve your performance. Don’t overplay the importance of the grade – it is not a reflection of your self-worth nor does it predict your future success. Try the following:

• Remember that the most reasonable expectation is to try to show as much of what you know as you can.
• Remind yourself that a test is only a test – there will be others.
• Avoid thinking of yourself in irrational, all-or-nothing terms.
• Reward yourself after the test – take in a movie, go out to eat, or visit with friends.

Don’t Forget the Basics

Students preparing for tests often neglect basic biological, emotional, and social needs. To do your best, you must attend to these needs. Think of yourself as a total person – not just a test taker. Remember to:

• Continue the habits of good nutrition and exercise. Continue your recreational pursuits and social activities – all contribute to your emotional and physical well-being.
• Follow a moderate pace when studying; vary your work when possible and take breaks when needed.
• Get plenty of sleep the night before the test – when you are overly tired you will not function at your absolute best.
• Once you feel you are adequately prepared for the test, do something relaxing.

The Day of the Test

To be able to do your best on the day of the test we suggest the following:

• Begin your day with a moderate breakfast and avoid coffee if you are prone to “caffeine jitters.” Even people who usually manage caffeine well may feel light-headed and jittery when indulging on the day of a test.
• Try to do something relaxing the hour before the test – last minute cramming will cloud your mastering of the overall concepts of the course.
• Plan to arrive at the test location early – this will allow you to relax and to select a seat located away from doors, windows, and other distractions.
• Avoid classmates who generate anxiety and tend to upset your stability.
• If waiting for the test to begin causes anxiety, distract yourself by reading a magazine or newspaper.

During the Test: Basic Strategies

Before you begin answering the questions on the test, take a few minutes and do the following:

• First review the entire test; then read the directions twice. Try to think of the test as an opportunity to show the professor what you know; then begin to organize your time efficiently. Work on the easiest portions of the test first.
• For essay questions, construct a short outline for yourself – then begin your answer with a summary sentence. This will help you avoid the rambling and repetition which can irrate the person grading the test. For short-answer questions, answer only what is asked – short and to the point. If you have difficulty with an item involving a written response, show what knowledge you can. If proper terminology evades you, show what you know with your own words.
• For multiple choice questions, read all the options first, then eliminate the most obvious. Unsure of the correct response? Rely on your first impression, then move on quickly. Beware of tricky qualifying words such as “only,” “always,” or “most.”
• Do not rush through the test. Wear a watch and check it frequently as you pace yourself. If it appears you will be unable to finish the entire test, concentrate on those portions which you can answer well. Recheck your answers only if you have extra time – and only if you are not anxious.

During the Test: Anxiety Control

Curb excess anxiety in any of the following ways:

• Tell yourself “I can be anxious later, now is the time to take the exam.”
• Focus on answering the question, not on your grade or others’ performances.
• Counter negative thoughts with other, more valid thoughts like, “I don’t have to be perfect.”
• Tense and relax muscles throughout your body; take a couple of slow deep breaths and try to maintain a positive attitude.
• If allowed, get a drink or go to the bathroom.
• Ask the instructor a question.
• Eat something.
• Break your pencil lead – then go sharpen it.
• Think for a moment about the post-exam reward you promised yourself.

After the Test

Whether you did well or not, be sure to follow through on the reward you promised yourself – and enjoy it! Try not to dwell on all the mistakes you might have made. Do not immediately begin studying for the next test. . . indulge in something relaxing for a little while.

If you are struggling with your feelings and thoughts please contact me on MetaMindTherapies for confidential advice.

Defence mechanisms

In Freud’s model of personality, the EGO is the aspect of personality that deals with reality whilst having to cope with the conflicting demands of the ID and the SUPEREGO and when the EGO cannot cope with the demands of our desires, the constraints of reality and our own moral standards generates anxiety and stress.

In order to cope with the negative elements of anxiety and stress, the EGO develops ‘defence mechanisms’, which help us to repress or conceal this anxious libido. These ‘defence mechanisms’ can be healthy or adaptive, that is, allowing us to function normally. For instance, by trying to rid all the stress from work by doing a dangerous sport such as rock climbing for instance, which is called Sublimation where a person transforms an unacceptable impulse into a socially acceptable one. On the other hand, a ‘defence’ can be unhealthy by interfering with our day-to-day lives.

In the film Sucker Punch, Baby Doll chose to Suppress (not Repress) her memories. Because Baby Doll was under such enormous amounts of stress, she created the "fantasy world" as a way to cope with the harshness of her traumatic reality: her stepfather killed her little brother (there are also elements of sexual abuse towards Baby Doll). 

As a result of this highly stressful and emotionally impactful situation her psyche uses another defence mechanism: she dissociates herself from the horrible realities of her life and toggles between reality and fantasy world where she creates this “James Bond” world where the “Wise Man” supports her with his advice. Essentially, she used fantasies to cope with the horrible things that she was experiencing whilst inside the mental asylum.

Madam Vera Gorski uses Hypnotherapy techniques such as Visualisation as a possible therapeutic cure for her depression and help her learn new behaviours where she is given positive advices and coping tools “weapons” which come from the “Wise Man”, an archetype (please see my previous blog for a full explanation) who helps her to boost her self-esteem and overcome the “monsters” of her life. 

Another interesting way of depicting her coping mechanisms is the fact the she sacrificed herself at the end. This parallels her being lobotomized in the real world upon which she had no control whatsoever. 

Of course, every story has always two sides... let us play the devil's advocate now... maybe she suffered from Schizophrenia... because of this, she was delusional and as a result she actually killed her little brother... her stepfather found the asylum to be the best place for her to be...

Now the question remains… was she trying to cope with reality… or was she Schizophrenic?

What do you think?