We all have personality
traits and our own ways of dealing with the universe however it all becomes a
problem when they become maladaptive and interfere with our ability to function
socially and occupationally... It is difficult to pinpoint our personalities:
some may be depressive, some obsessive compulsive, some schizoid, some
histrionic and others narcissistic…
Narcissism is a normal part
of child hood development and let’s agree: the child is the centre of
attention, love, hope (from the parents). It is a defence mechanism used in any
normal upbringing, where the child will have unconditional and constant
positive attention from the mother; the child will be supported and praised, no
matter how small their achievements are. Don’t get me wrong, it is all good as
it helps to boost the self-esteem. However, some children may be constantly
praised for more than they should be, regardless how small their achievements
are. However, too much of anything is not good… Up to this point, Narcissism is
healthy, however, many children grow up and go into adulthood still thinking
and feeling they are still the focus of attention and expecting the same
treatment from others hence becoming maladaptive behaviour.
Narcissistic personality
disorder is characterized by people who display grandiosity, envy and an
inability to have empathy (put themselves in another person's shoes).
For instance, let’s take a
look at the character Patrick Bateman from the American Psycho movie. He
suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it was ALL about him! He
craved and needed constant attention… positive attention to be more correct. He
needed affirmation that he was the most beautiful, most intelligent man at
work, socially and in love.
Patrick is all about
creating appearances, but not necessarily physical ones, that gain admiration.
It involves manipulating others with a well-honed subtlety that matches his
absolute callousness. He beats people up, exaggerates situations, lie with no
sense of shame and hurl threats upon anyone who criticizes him, all to make
himself feel like an autocrat, but he only do things when he thinks he'll get
away with them.
Envy is another element of
this trait. So, if one possesses something materially or psychologically that a
person with narcissistic personality disorder doesn't have, they will become
envious. Now, you're not going to hear them say, "Oh, I'm so jealous of
you." What you'll actually see, the manifestation of that envy, will be a
devaluation, "Oh well, that's because she's a brown-noser; that's why she
got that promotion." So, anytime they feel that envy coming up, they will
immediately have to devalue it.
Like most of people with
this trait, they may seek revenge if you don't agree with them and may lash
out on people in a moment of rage…or even kill you if you stand between them
and their objective.
Like Patrick, there is Brian Blackwell and
Diane Downs who also suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
We don’t know very much about Downs’
childhood other than she had been allegedly sexually abused by her dad.
Narcissistic personality disorder might be developed as the result of neglect
or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during
childhood. The disorder becomes more evident by early adulthood. Downs’
narcissism and need to be the focus of attention was evident in the film “Small
Sacrifices”. On 19th May 1983 she shot her 3 children in attempt to get rid of
them as they posed an obstacle between her and her boyfriend.
Brian Blackwell also killed
his parents on 25th July 2004 in Liverpool, England, as his parents challenged Brian’s
intention to go to America. Brian was also excessively pampered (his mum would
still bathe and dress him at the age of 17) by his parents who also needed for
him to be talented and special, maybe to maintain their own self-esteem. His
fantasy life he created had collapsed and Brian could not accept this: he WAS going
on holiday and intended to spend a large amount of money and because his
parents wouldn’t allow this, it caused an outburst of rage which resulted in
his parents’ death.
The above examples are
extreme cases of NPD, however they may help us understand their mindset. Like
other Personality Disorders, the person must be seen by a Doctor or
Psychologist for a proper diagnosis.
In my view Psychotherapy may help, however
keeping them in treatment can be an issue and rather challenging as they may devalue
the therapist because of the envy involved in this situation.
What do you think?
What do you think?
Costa Alecrim - Dip Hyp
MetaMind Therapies
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